I find the tasks I am currently working on at home quite daunting. It is so difficult to sort through the remains of another person’s life. It feels like you are invading their privacy as you look at their photographs, read through cards and letters, and sift through keepsakes mostly from places you may have never heard of and certainly have never been.
Sometimes I feel like I’m throwing away too much. At others, it feels like I need to throw away more. I don’t know why it bothers me so much. I just know that it does, even though it certainly doesn’t seem to bother anyone else in the family. I have asked and asked everyone to tell me what they want from the house with very little response from any of them. Left to do it on my own seems to make it more difficult to decide what goes with us and what is disposed of.
I have come to the conclusion that the majority will go to be sorted and dealt with after we are gone from here. I catch myself pausing in my tasks to let the memories of them wash over me; Mom and Dad… my in-laws… my friends. When I’m in a place where I’m not so distracted with my own memories, maybe I’ll find it easier to let go.
But for now, I have memories to sort through, boxes to pack and a house to get ready to leave behind. You never know what tomorrow will bring.
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